Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet thanks to your beautiful daughter catching your ex-wife out.
I for one have heard of women setting up their partners like this just before they separate for the purposes of shunting the father out of the kids life completely and gaining full custody as the mother’s application for parenting orders travels through the court.
I read on a forum years ago some guy that had this done to him just as they were about to separate and it got to the point where the police where pressing charges against the guy despite the fact that his wife set it all up.
All that mattered was that she had the video on her phone and then he was considered abusive to the kids, which then lent credibility to her claims of abuse – none of which were evidenced.
Morale of the story is be very careful what you do as you approach breaking up and when you actually breakup. Especially if your partner is already adopting a domestic violence narrative.
For some women when they break up it’s a no brainer to them to try and take the kids, the car, the house, the lot. Goes on all the time and the guy is left with nothing but the shirt on his back.
What’s worse is that the system enables them to do it.
If it were me I would be working on a way that I could be attending a professional mediator with my wife, something like relationships Australia, so we could both work on establishing a set of parenting orders to go by as we split up. That way you separate amicably and short circuit what she seems to be trying to do whilst also making it real that you’re splitting up – that is if that’s what you want to do.