November 13, 2020 at 5:48 am #228Julian SchroderParticipant
Got a phone call from the police last night whom said I had to come down to my local station to be served with a protection order from my ex.
Initially I was in disbelief but then it all made sense when I thought back to how unusually easy it was to have the separation agreement talk with my ex the night before.
This stuff is a joke. There was absolutely no domestic violence whatsoever in our relationship and/or the separation talk I refer to, but now I have ADVO against me and orders that prevent me from going near her and/or behaving abusively towards her.
Just to make things even more messy it seems, before the police rang me, they went to my work looking for me whilst I was not there.
So, now my employer knows the police were looking for me and I am not sure if the police told them why.
Any help/advice would be appreciated.
November 16, 2020 at 3:55 am #230Travis BlaxhallParticipant
My advice would be to contest the protection order and defend yourself against it.
Particularly if there was no DV and you don’t want to make consent orders.
This stuff is going on all the time where someone’s partner alleges domestic violence occurred and then before you know it you have temporary/interim orders in place that both, reflects what she’s seeking in the long run and are the result of an ex-parte hearing that is basically a hearing where you don’t get to defend yourself.
As far as work is concerned, that depends.
On one hand a part of me says you’re probably best to be straight with them. But then on the other hand, and depending on how much they’ve been told and how understanding they are, it might be best to wait and see.
If they’re of the view that no woman lies about domestic violence matters and the police didn’t really tell them what they were looking for then it might be best to keep work in the dark and say you were a witness to an accident or something like that.
No point losing your job if you don’t have to.
November 16, 2020 at 4:00 am #231Jake PetersonParticipant
Yep, I agree with Travis.
Assuming either of you don’t want to make consent without admissions orders; defend the matter so you don’t end up with a criminal record.
No need to tell work anything more than you think they need to know.
Particularly if they’re unaware of how much of a rort the domestic violence industry is.
November 18, 2020 at 6:22 am #244Felix SpencherKeymaster
Option 1 – often the decision comes down to whether or not you’re prepared to arrange for a consent without admissions order, where you consent to an order made against you but do not admit any liability for and/or accept her claims.
Option 2 – alternatively, you can defend the matter which often involves the services of a lawyer.
The 1st option – consent without admissions – usually resolves the matter quite quickly, with little cost, and results in a 6 month or longer order whereby (among other orders) you usually have to behave towards your ex-partner and/or not go close to her.
A consent without admissions protection order means (among others things) that there has been no domestic abuse proven. That said, a consent without admission protection order can sometimes be treated, particularly by those working in the Federal Circuit Court (family report writer’s etc), as if it is evidence of family violence; so consider this if you have kids and your dispute with your ex-partner is likely to end up in the Federal Circuit Court.
The 2nd option – defend the matter – means you’re going to defend the matter and that it will most likely proceed to a trial whereby you (and her) will be given the opportunity to explain yourself. Most people only do this if they’re confident of the outcome and there was no domestic violence committed by them.
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